An Emotional journey - literally

My grandfather died 7th july this year. He was a 94 year old man who had had a good whole life and so we should not really mourn his death. But, human nature does not allow that. When some near and dear one leaves you, tears come and flow out of your eyes. The four brothers - my grandpa’s sons - cried too. I saw my father shedding tears for the first time in my life. And most of all I cried, more because I saw my babaji’s face after death. Eyes closed, mouth open and head hanging when no support is given to it. People had told me that a dead body looks like its sleeping. I couldn’t disagree more. Babaji definitely did not look like he was sleeping. A white bed sheet covering his body from head to feet that was kept on large blocks of ice, another sheet covering his face, wool stuffed in his nostrils and incense sticks burning to keep away the flies and the stench. I have never witnessed such a haunting scene before and would not wish to witness it ever again.

My father had already bought 4 tickets for a JetLite plane that would take my parents, didi and me from Mumbai to Lucknow. This was on the 6th when my grandpa was still alive, though we knew that he was on his death bed. Tickets bought; packing almost done we left from Dahanu, a place 3 hours from Mumbai and where my dad is posted. We were in the train on our way to Mumbai when the wretched call came on my sister’s cell phone. It was from my tauji (my dad’s elder brother). The moment I knew who was calling, I knew too the news that that call was going to get us. The grave look on my mom’s face said it all and believe me, trying to stop your eyes from leaking in a crowded lower berth of an even more crowded train is no easy task. My dad who was in another bogie of the train did not know about his father’s death till we reached Mumbai. And when mom did break the news to him at the Mumbai central station’s platform…the shock on his face at being told about it will not leave my memory soon.

We reached home two hours before it was time to leave for the airport. Finished packing clothes for 15 days and left. 45 minutes in the taxi, another hour at the airport and our plane was ready to take off. I have traveled in a plane before on a number of occasions but the exhilarating feeling you get when the plane’s wheels leave the runway is something I love. Of course, this time the feeling was quite subdued..

The enormity of the loss did not descend on us until we reached my oldest tauji’s home in Sitapur- a small town near Lucknow. That was where my grandparents lived. We landed at the Lucknow airport at around 7 and left immediately for Sitapur by road. Another one of my taujis, who lived in Lucknow, had sent his car for us. We reached home by 10.30 and the first thing I saw; rather felt when I entered the house was cold water. It was due to the ice blocks that were melting and my eyes were directed to where babaji was lain.

At that moment I felt as if the world had frozen. I did not want to see it but I could not take my eyes away, I did not want to go in but my legs automatically took me inside. All of my relatives were there- my uncles and aunties and cousins and my nephews and nieces too (some of my cousins are quite quite older than me and have kids)… And once I was seated with the mourners, tears that had threatened to flow out since morning finally won the battle and did flow out. Soundlessly, effortlessly I wept. Those consoling me were weeping silently themselves. All this sounds quite dramatic, I agree, but if u have seen one of your dear one in this state…you’ll understand what I mean. Next day the last rites were performed and the mourning period that lasts for 13 days had begun. Restrictions were put on all the bahus of the house, which included my mother, my taijis and bhabhis… The daughters of the house had none to follow except restrictions on what you could eat and what you could not. You could not eat chapattis and anything spicy…that is, nothing fried… Well, this was the toughest part to follow… I am sure my babaji wouldn’t have wanted us to give up good food whatever the reasons… but traditions are traditions and you cannot break them at my tauji’s home.

This continued for 10 days and on the 10th day, good food was finally made at home when the home gets purified of all the negative energies following a death. All these traditions are so queer and strange. I mean, everyone was sad about the death, obviously, but death is a natural phenomenon, something inevitable…how can you associate it with any kind of “negative energies”? Whatever, babaji meant a lot to me and so I did not mind following these rules.

Of course, the intermittent 10 days were not spent crying. I noticed one thing about us, humans; I mean… we get over tragedies fairly quickly. We were missing the patriarch of the family, yes we were…but life did not stop…the same routine was being followed as it used to be earlier, people were laughing and smiling and talking and everything and this is quite amazing really…

All those 10 days were spent playing with my 4 nephews and 1 niece who simply wouldn’t leave me alone for a second. “bua, bua, bua”(bua is your father’s sister) were the screams I heard wherever I went in the large house. Of course, the 10 days also passed away in swearing…swearing at the climate, swearing at 8 hour power cuts, swearing at the mosquitoes and swearing at the hot climate. I don’t know how I survived and lived through all this…

Here are some of the pics….

These are the kiddos with my elder sis…aren’t they adorable?

These are two hand-and-home-made fans you can't live without in Siatpur. My constant companions during the hot days and nights...

We returned 15 days later, by train this time, leaving behind the memories, the people and being left behind ourselves by my grandpa…

A nostalgic trip...

Almost 10 days of no internet access does no good, especially to me... Well, the first half was worth it cause i was on a visit to nagpur, a city i have spent more than half my life in. Visiting the place after more than a year brought so many nostalgic memories back to me, it was as if i had not left the place at all. But a short trip of just 3 days made me ask for more, which obviously i did not get, thanks to daddy dearest.

But yes, those 3 days were really fun. Though, i need to check my weight now. I must have put on atleast 3-4 more kilos, courtesy the pastries and chocolates and brownies i had everyday. And the aunties and uncles who we visited did not spare me either. Breakfast used to be the oily poha we got at the rest house, lunch would comprise of either sizzling brownie at the CCD or some type of chocolate pastry accompanied with a pizza. Chhole batures or dosas or pav-bhaji had become a routine affair for dinner. yummmmm... But, most enjoyable was the time i spent with my school friends. Roaming around on our own vehicles (non-gear two wheelers, i mean) was something i thoroughly miss in Mumbai, where half my day passes away inside a local train.Well, riding an activa to visiting the recently opened Eternity Mall and visiting the CCD, where the waiters had even started recognising our group, how did the time fly by, i just did not realise..

One of the most nostalgic moment of the entire trip was a visit to a temple. Ok. lemme clarify-- we did not go inside the temple...we went behind it. There is a platform kind of thing, where u can sit and a large ground in front. That is the temple of one ramdeobaba, and no not the yoga guru, this ramdeobaba is some deity. The temple is in the campus of ramdeobaba engineering college, where i attended coaching classes for aieee, actually "atended" should be replaced by the word bunked, i along with my friends bunked more classes than we attended.and this is where we hid from our teachers. "mandir ke peeche" was all we needed to type in the sms and our entire group would reach there sharp at 4 in the evening telling our unsuspecting parents that we are going to the tuitions. Of course, we didnt see the face of our classes and parked our vehicles directly near that temple and once or twice we did visit the temple too, hamare paap dhone k liye. God has really saved us, literally, from our ever-torturing professors by providing us with the safe haven, the "mandir k peeche" place.

Someone has rightly said, good things dont last long and thats exactly what happened with my short n' sweet trip to nagpur. A city that will always hold a very special place in my heart. Funny how it happens... the city u have lived in for most of ur life becomes the best city in the world. Thats what nagpur is for me. Even though, i love mumbai...but nagpur is THE best city in the world simply because i have lived there for more than 12 years, made friends for life, attended the best school in the city (Bhavan's B.P. Vidya Mandir) etc etc etc...

Leaving nagpur was tough though i did not show it on my face. i am a senti person and tears start leaking very soon. The moment my train left the station, i wanted to jump! in any case, it would have been the right thing to do cause the dumb train was late by more than 5 hours.

Bt the journey was awesome..The scenic views of the western ghats from the train are so beautiful. And because its monsoon now, the greenery really was spectacular. My dumb cell had discharged completely and so i couldnt click any photographs... The train reached dadar station well behind its scheduled time of arrival and i was in a bad mood cause of that. Mumbai weather can get really bad during monsoons. Humidity is at its peak and the potholed roads do nothing to uplift ur mood. by the time i reached home i was in such a sweaty state....whew!
i'll add some pics later on..
(to be contd..)

Dream World

I am at college, with my friends, Namrata and Devyani..I have gone to the college after a long time and everything has changed there. A huge notice welcomes the three of us saying, cell phones are not allowed in the college premises and all 3 of us are carrying our mobiles.We take the risk and take our cell phones inside...Inside i am welcomed by two dogs and a cat, all of them start jumping at me the moment they spot me...Wow, what a grand welcome...After i have dealt with the pets, i spot some more of my friends who are preparing some dance and it looks amazing.I am jealous because i want to be a part of the dance too...All my school friends are involved in it..Sailee, Priyanka, Rohita, Purva and Shuchi. Suddenly, two professors turn up and see the bulge in our pockets and we know we are trapped.Turning around to see where my dancer friends are, i see that they are now practicing gymnastics.Confused, i look back at the professors who are eyeing the three of us suspiciously. They first ask Namrata whether its a cell phone in her pocket. And when she says yes, they confiscate it. I turn around at that moment to see that Devyani has vanished into thin air. Sulking, i look back at the professors who are talking to each other in low voices...This is when Namrata asks when she can get her cell back. "Tonight at 10." is the reply she gets. Namrata is mutinous but they ask her to go and so she does.Left alone, i wonder what is in store for me and i get a shocker..."Are you on orkut?" they ask me, i say yes and thats when i hear my mom screaming my name...."Anu, are u going to get up at all today?!" she asks. Thats when i realise that i was not in college but sleeping and dreaming.

I get up rubbing my eyes and thinking of the dream i just had had and wondering if it was possible in real life.....Well, it was not. I guess, i dreamt of all these people cause i m really looking forward to meet them after a loooong gap...


I am brushing my teeth when i realise that my eye has stopped hurting. The swelling has gone too and the infection is completely cured. I have finally won the battle without going to th doctor.It gives me a sense of pride.. :D

My infection free right eye!!!!

Whoa.... finally the infection has left me, after 4 days of a solid war!

Its almost 9 and i have to go to the bank with mom....brrr....such a fun place :/

Mom, me and didi are off, walking..the bank is nearby, didi has her earphones stuck to her ears, while i m looking here and there. Mom is trailing us, she walks really slow.Finally we reach the bank, fill some forms, sign at around a thousand places, go from one counter to the other, spend around an hour doing all this and still ou work is not done. Have to return tomorrow too but the work will finish only the day after. Why is work at a bank so cumbersome?? Well, we return home, walking in the scorching heat of Mumbai. It seems that the monsoon is in no mood to visit Mumbai this year... Walking along the haji ali seaface without any tree cover is like being inside a furnace.

Finally we reach home sipping maaza, which cools me down.. Home seems best when u return from such heat. Its time to login now and start surfing the net before my sister occupies the laptop.... so, here i am, blogging and enjoying a dairy milk :) yummmm......

The whole night i couldnt sleep yesterday because my eye wouldn't allow me to.And whatever dreams i did have,were revolving around me befriending some ghosts in a posh Mumbai's mall(i do remember most of my dreams).I am really amazed at the phenomenon of dreams and am really curious to know how we have them...I dunno if the mystery has been solved as yet.

Well, the infection seems to have fallen in love with my eye and because it was lonely, it has called up a headache too..just the start i wanted for today! ... My eye has become so ugly...eeeu! And the pain is not subsiding as well and what else, the doctor does not come on saturdays...everything seems to be working against me today....

Things are getting just too boring.... 24 hours a day at home, doing nothing, is just killing me...All i am looking forward to is my trip to nagpur. i simply cant wait to go there and meet all my friends after more than a year... But, after that its going to be back to the boring hols....

i couldnt join any classes either cause of this nagpur trip and a trip to lucknow later in the vacations.... Otherwise, i would have been learning some dance form right now...i will have to do it during the next holidays....

Today could have been a great day but again, as i said, nothing is going the way i would have wanted it to.i was gonna meet my college friend, Shweta, we both surely would have had a lot of fun.She was gonna come to my home, she had some work here, but now she ain't coming...Thats because the central railway has stopped its services today due to some reasons. Thats what i call a spoilsport....

I am so sure the rest of my day is going to be full of pain, boredom and probably some more weird dreams when i take a nap in the afternoon...Atleast, those dreams will keep me entertained...

The day i had

You cannot expect a smile on dear mummy's face if you get up at 9 in the morning, especially during vacations when she expects u(if u r a girl) to learn cooking...well, i expected just that and got a scowl instead...had to make up for it, so made my bed, even prepared my own breakfast (sandwich and mango shake) and guess what she cooled down, thankfully.

Had to go to the doctor's, my eye has developed a very stubborn infection.its just not getting cured...I hate going to the doctor or taking a pill, for that matter, i dont know why, i simply try to avoid the doctor and medicines as much as i can....but i could not tolerate the pain, so had to go.
But guess what, the doctor nearest to our home, did not turn up...my luck or bad luck..whatever...had to return holding my painful eye..

I didnt know what was in store for me next...and got a shocker...Mom wants me to learn how to cook a dish that i dont even eat, i simply don't want to, cause its time for surfing the net but another shocker, my sister has already logged in and is in no mood to get up. having no other choice, i slouch to the kitchen and spot today's newspapers..Mom is not looking, i pick up the papers and run to my room....to my relief mom has forgotten that she asked me to cook, she herself is not getting the ingridients of the complicated dish right.

The Indian Express and DNA, the papers i read, and mind you i read them religiously...going through each page carefully....especially the cartoon and puzzle section....Indian Express has a headine about Rahul Gandhi's birthday...ha!as if i care..while the dna has something more sensible--about Obama and the nuclear deal..Dna also carries a bollywood supplement..Sushmita Sen is finally ready to shoot her long awaited Rani laxmi bai movie....what do i do??? start clapping? well, whatever...
Mumbai Newsline is my next pick....the cartoon section...these days, cartoons are more sensible than the news.i try to solve the crossword and as always do not get some of the solutions, which really irritates me, coz this is not even a cryptic crossword...i go next to solve sudoku puzzle..its the simplle one today, finish it in not even 5 minutes...

Lunch is ready and the special dish....."lauki kofta" is ready....it tastes good, and mind you, its an accomplishment for me...i must have eaten that vegetable for the first time in my life...but its heavy and my tummy is full just eating the chapatis,rice is still left and also dal...mom won't let me get up until i finish the food...and as a result it took me almost an hour to finish eating, or rather, over-eating..

have nothing to do today, so go to sleep....but some construction work is going on, which won't even let me sleep for long...finally i get to sleep only to get up with a jerk...had a weird dream where i have reached the "LoveStory 2050" world! can u believe that?!! and i am singing some song with the robots...i am still laughing thinking about that dream..i cant get bored even when sleeping...my dream channel switches on when i switch off my eyes..

well, i m awake, mom nd didi are going to the market, m not interested...i dont really like shopping much.thats when i log in and start writing my first blog...i dont know how well or bad it is..please leave ur comments...
whether u hated it, vomited after reading it or just felll unconscious..lemme know :)